12 discoveries that make a man becoming a father
Written by a father who understood life.
- The apartment is deadly.All items below the level of your belt will either be destroyed or used for injury. 90% of your cases on “raising” a child are attempts to save him from injury.
- Sleep is a new erotic fantasy.8 soundless hours are more beautiful than taking a bath with Vera Brezhnev. At least you still have the strength to sleep.
- You have an unpleasant character.You recognize yourself in his whims, in his persistence, in his harmfulness. It looks like a small curved mirror. At the same time you will understand what a pain in the ass you were for your ancestors.
- But you will become an ideal for your daughter.It is you who will shape her taste for men. Try to comply if you want a decent son-in-law to appear over time.
- Not everything depends on you.When you for the first time drop a child’s head on the floor (not “if”, namely “when”), you will pray that everything ends well. Even if you do not know a single prayer and never believed in anyone.
- You are a “bad” investigator.By 2 years old, a child will learn to manipulate your wife, like Putin turns the Duma. If you do not want to live with a small dictator, you yourself will have to command, punish and say the word “no” 50 times a day. An unpleasant role, but someone has to do it.
- Free time - when he sleeps.The child is an employer who does not know the Labor Code. Weekend for it does not exist.
- Small does not mean quiet.Let him weigh 6 kilos - upset, he skillfully reproduces the sound of the Su-35 link in attack mode. Yes, some people still snore in their sleep. Bass.
- A good cartoon can be viewed 50 times.
- You could negotiate with terrorists.“He does not want to go outside. No, he wants to go outside. No, these gloves do not fit. No, he will not push the handle into the bag. No, he still does not want to go out. This is my toy, even though it is a stranger ... ”All negotiations are in a soft voice, with a smile and diminutive suffixes.
- Happinnes exists.The child not only himself sincerely experiences everything that happens, but also makes you feel very keenly joy, tenderness, affection. No matter how cynical you may be, from his many actions and phrases you will have to wipe away tears of tenderness. And there is nothing to be ashamed of.
- You're a horse, and go.
In Skype, I somehow do not look so. And you have to make an impression, I will be interviewed. There are some tricks